Betting on Yourself: Jessica Phylicia Jackson's Raw Take on Self-Publishing and Manifestation

How manifestation led to a self-published book

Jessica Phylicia Jackson

Jessica Phylicia Jackson is a writer, artist, and mother from Virginia, navigating life one intrusive thought at a time. Through her blog, Mad Girl Manifesting, she shares the raw and messy journey of manifesting her best life—while battling self-doubt, creative burnout, and the occasional existential crisis.

Currently working on her debut paranormal fantasy novel, The Garden of Graves (coming May 2025), Jessica documents the highs and lows of writing, editing, and self-publishing, while mixing in musings on astrology, manifestation, and mental health. In this interview, she gets real about the struggles of comparison, the joys of creative chaos, and why she's still betting on herself—no matter what.

Your blog, Mad Girl Manifesting, seems like a powerful space for vulnerability and growth. What made you decide to open up about your journey with manifestation, writing, and life on such a personal platform?

I was raised to keep certain emotions controlled and private, but growing up in the digital age, it became easier to express myself online. I’m shy, struggle with vulnerability, and find it hard to speak up for myself. But like many people, I think the distance we gain from behind a keyboard rather than face-to-face staring into the eyes of another, makes it easier to be vulnerable. I know it’s not like that for everyone, but it is for me. It took a long time to accept I am an emotional human and it’s okay. I’ve always liked writing, and journaling. Not just as an art, but as an emotional outlet. I kept seeing manifestation tiktoks and blogs online. They looked SO happy, and I felt miserable, lonely, sad, angry… lots of things other than happy. I thought to myself how I want my kids to have a happy mom, but they didn’t (at the time) and it was killing me. For a long time I thought “that could never be me”. But then one day I thought, what do I have to lose? Why can’t a girl like me manifest her dreams too? And just maybe, there are others who feel like me too. Doing it online not only helped me gain a sense of community, but helps me hold myself accountable for my (attempted) growth.

Manifestation: Beyond the Vision Board

In one of your posts, you talked about not actively manifesting lately. If the universe were your therapist, what do you think it would say about your current manifestation block? Any theories on what might be holding you back?

I wouldn’t say I’m experiencing a block, I kind of just fell out of routine. With the start of the new year, I had to form new routines to get my manuscript finished, and forming new routines can be tough (spoiler alert, I’m not a huge fan of routines outside of my skincare lol). It takes me a while to form new habits. While I’ve fallen off my active manifestation habits, I am still passively manifesting so to speak, in little ways. I’ll be back on my game soon. If the Universe were my therapist, it would tell me to keep my intentions in mind regardless of what my routine looks like, and trust the process.

Your music playlist seems to have a lot of powerful female artists. How do these songs or artists play into your manifestation practice?

I grew up on Spice Girls and Pop/RNB Princesses so “girl power” is something I’ll always believe in (*throws up peace sign*). Manifestation isn’t just wishful thinking. That was the first thing I learned when I got into the practice. In order for it to work, you have to put yourself in the mindset that the goal you want to achieve is already yours. It’s easier said than done. Music has the ability to sway our emotions and even affect our brain activity. So I would rather not listen to stuff that puts me down (and this is hard because I love my emo era hits lol). Don’t get me wrong, I still blast my emo rock and rap music from time-to-time, but I prioritize things that make me feel good- especially if it has bubbly, motivational lyrics.

The Writing Journey: From Daydream to Debut

Jessica’s Book The Garden of Graves comes out later this year

Let's talk about your journey from daydreaming kid to actually writing a book. What finally made you say, "Hell yes, I'm doing this," instead of just staring at a blank page? Was there a specific moment that pushed you from someday to right now?

In a nutshell: motherhood. Becoming a mother changes you in so many ways. Having kids is probably the greatest example of “trust the process” if I ever saw one. After my second kid, I became a stay-at-home mom. It’s what worked best for our family, but I found myself drowning in my new identity. I often struggled prioritizing my own hobbies due to overwhelm of the day-to-day, and mom-guilt among other things. I realized how quickly I went from daydreaming kid, to having kids that daydream, and that watch me daydream too. I need them to see their mom doing things for herself so I went back to the basics: reading for fun, and journaling which lead to writing poetry (something I hadn’t done since highschool) and eventually starting my novel. For so much of my life, the blank page has intimidated me, but now I refuse to let my kids see me be intimidated by anyone or anything.

The Garden of Graves is your debut novel, and editing sounds like it's been hell. What's been the most challenging part of bringing this book to life? How do you kick those pesky self-doubt gremlins to the curb when they’re constantly in your ear?

Yeah so I found out quickly I loathe editing lol. It’s just not fun to me. Luckily I have secured a professional editor to help. The hardest part of this whole thing has been building a writing routine. Being a stay-at-home mom you’d think I have all the time in the world (or at least that's how society paints us- we actually don’t), finding the time to sit down and focus on writing has been tough. It’s hard to shut off mom-brain, and put aside mothering/house duties. Kids need a lot of attention, but so does my book. Plus, as I mentioned, building new routines is tough for me. But my husband and parents help, and I hope after this first book, my writing muscles (and routine) will be better built.

You mentioned loving 90s and 2000s music. Are there any pop culture references or nostalgia that inspire your writing, especially in The Garden of Graves?

Ooo yes! Music is actually my biggest influence when it comes to writing. When I was a kid, my little sisters and I used to reenact music videos with our barbie dolls lol. I think I still do that in my head when I find myself lost in a song. Songs that have sparked ideas for this book would be “How Soon Is Now?” by the Smiths (absolutely iconic as the Charmed intro song, and I also love the movie The Craft and it was on that soundtrack too. It’ll always be synonymous with witches to me), Basically anything by Evanescence (Amy Lee’s haunting voice is SO atmospheric), and “Change” by Deftones (Aaliyah as a vampire definitely lives in my head rent free).

From pin maker to artist to writer - your creative journey is quite the ride. How did these different artistic identities impact your writing for The Garden of Graves?

Drawing and writing are my two first loves. When I was a kid I used to draw my own original characters and write their stories. I think being a full-time artist first helped me heal my inner child, and made it easier to not only reconnect with the writer in me, but also aid in envisioning how I want the artistry of the book to come out (character art, atmosphere, inside art as well as the cover art.)

You've written about the challenges of editing and the comparison trap. How do you deal with the pressure of perfectionism, especially when comparing yourself to other writers in the indie/self-publishing space?

It’s very hard for me. If you’re into astrology, Virgo rules my 5th house (house of creativity) if that says anything about me lol. Every time I see another indie or self-published author being successful, I think of how different my book is from theirs and then self-doubt creeps in. What if my book is too… weird? But then in the same breath, I know my story is unique, and that is a creative strength. It’s not a race at the end of the day, so i just remind myself of that. If I’m going to do anything, it has to feel right to me- it has to feel authentic. So just like with my blog- I have to show up as me; even if that means slowing my roll, or taking a step back to breathe and reevaluate. I don’t pretend to be perfect, and when I’m far from it, I might cry about it, write about crying about it, and then keep at it until it feels right.

Creative Connections: Finding Your Tribe

Jessica is unapologetic about her vibes

You've mentioned feeling like an oddball in creative spaces. How do you navigate that feeling of being an outsider when all you want is to connect with other writers who get you?

People like to put people in a box, and when you don’t fit in the box they’ve imagined for you, you become “othered”. It’s a peculiar feeling that’s hard to describe, but as a mixed woman of color (black and filipino) I’m used to it. It’s lonely at times, but I’m familiar with being alone- a result of growing up shy and introverted. I crave community because doing new things, and putting yourself out there can be hard without support. And I do have support! My circle is just really tiny. I know my readers and like-minded writers are out there and I’m confident I’ll find more of them once this book is published. It helps following other people online who identify as “weird” and “othered”. It makes me feel seen.

Your circle might be small, but I'm guessing it's mighty. How do you find support when it feels like the world isn't exactly cheering you on? Any survival tips for creatives feeling a bit isolated?

I would actually rather have a small and mighty circle with genuine support, than a big circle of people who go silent when you need them. Finding support can be intimidating. My biggest tips? 1. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Many people are willing to help if you just ask. 2. Yap about your project. Talk about it loudly and proudly. I have been thoroughly surprised at how many strangers have been genuinely excited for my book and rooting for my success. 3. Look in the mirror. That person in the reflection is/should be your biggest cheerleader. Always.

You've been the creative chameleon with pins, art, and writing. Each space probably felt different. What's the most surprising thing you've learned about creative communities that no one talks about?

So they actually don’t feel that different to me lol and that’s probably what’s the most surprising. I was worried when I decided to start talking publicly about writing a book because it's an uncharted territory to me. Then I started, and slowly things in the indie/self pub writing community started looking like the pin community. You have people who become actual friends, cliques, community drama, people who gatekeep because they think you’ll “copy” them lol, people who pretend to be a peer to use you, etc. The mediums are different, but the spaces you take up and the way you navigate that space from idea to finished product is very similar. I think once you’ve navigated one creative space, it becomes easier to step into others. Creating pins and doing art went hand in hand because I drew almost all of my own artwork for the pins and stickers I sold (with the one off commission here and there). Now instead of drawing out ideas, I’m writing them. At the end of the day it’s all about utilizing your creativity to produce something and then learning the business surrounding that product in order to sell it. Years ago it was pins and stickers (which I may revisit), and today it’s a book. Still art, just different formats.

Emotional Landscapes & The Creative Self

A little about Jessica

You're deep in this journey of self-love and healing, with anger being your emotional sidekick lately. How are you learning to work with these intense feelings instead of letting them overcome you?

One of my favorite things to write to my substack subscribers is to “feel your feelings”. Suppressing them is unhealthy, a temporary solution, and is the quickest way to let them overcome you- and eventually, they always do. So instead of avoiding them, I acknowledge them, write about them, and also create characters inspired by them.

You describe yourself as an "emotional creature." If your emotions could write a book, what would its first chapter look like?

I would imagine it looking like the control room from Inside Out when all the emotions are battling for dominance lol. Have you seen the sequel when anxiety took over? That would definitely happen haha.

Manifesting your best life sounds amazing, but also kind of terrifying. What does success actually look like for you right now? And how are you defining that beyond the typical Instagram-worthy moments?

It is definitely a terrifyingly amazing combination lol. Success for me looks like simply thriving in creativity, and being happy in my element. It’s a feeling of pride and joy knowing I went for it. Lots of book sales would be amazing too lol, but most importantly I want my kids to see their mom being happy, and passionate about things.

Dream Plotting: What Comes Next

The Garden of Graves is coming later this year—exciting times! What are your wildest dreams for this book? Are we talking bestseller, or "please, just read my weird little story"?

A little bit of both haha. I think a small part of every novelist is to become a best seller at some point. But my wildest dream? It’s far fetched, but I would love to see the story adapted into a video game. A TV show would be cool too since I grew up on shows like The Vampire Diaries and True Blood that kind of match my book’s vibe, but video games immerse you in a totally different way. I can imagine certain spooky elements from the book coming to life in a game, or the magic system being used to battle monsters with a controller in hand.

Beyond The Garden of Graves, what weird, interesting creative project is currently living in the back of your imagination, waiting to break free?

Two stories are actually fighting for next in my head right now. One is a romantic ghost story, and the other is full of werewolves. I might have to toss a coin to decide which one goes first.

Jessica's journey is proof that creativity isn't always pretty, but it's always worth it. Whether she's venting about the struggles of self-publishing, sharing vulnerable poetry, or reminding us that it's okay to be a little mad sometimes, her voice is one that many will relate to. As she prepares for the release of The Garden of Graves, she continues to manifest her best life—one blog post, book edit, and emotional breakdown at a time.

If Jessica's story resonated with you, let her know. Are you a writer, storyteller, or creative entrepreneur navigating your own wild journey? Drop a comment below. I'm always looking for fascinating voices that aren't afraid to get a little messy. And if you enjoyed this conversation, share it with a fellow creative who might need a dose of Jessica's raw, unfiltered inspiration.

Want to follow her creative chaos? You can find Jessica at jessicapjackson.carrd.co and subscribe to Mad Girl Manifesting for more candid thoughts, creative insights, and probably a few expletives. Also thanks to Jacque Aye for referring Jessica!